Dedicated by Chesky and Miriam Frankel (Toms River, NJ)
Parshas Bamidbar 5786
In a noisy world, with endless distractions and a yetzer hara operating in turbo mode on a global campaign to make this world as unholy as possible, preparing properly for Shavuos can feel like a challenge. With Shavuos approaching, we may wonder how to truly maximize this Yom Tov, the very foundation of our heritage.
The first day of Shavuos, ו׳ סיון, marks the yahrzeit of the holy Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov. I would like to tap into the light and radiance of the Baal Shem Tov and hope that even over 250 years later, his teachings can still uplift us and provide direction.
The “Toldos,” Rabbi Yaakov Yosef of Polonne, author of the sefer Toldos Yaakov Yosef, one of the earliest Chassidic seforim ever printed, was once standing together with the Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov, both deeply immersed in Torah thought.
The Baal Shem Tov explained that everything a person encounters carries a message from Shamayim. Even things that seem random or insignificant are orchestrated by Hashem and are meant to teach us something.
Suddenly, while they were speaking, a non-Jewish worker looked through the window and asked if anything needed fixing. The Baal Shem Tov replied that everything seemed fine. But the worker insisted, saying, “If you look carefully enough, you’ll always find something that needs repair.”
The Baal Shem Tov immediately turned to Reb Yaakov Yosef and said, “You see? We just received a message from the Ribbono shel Olam. A person should never think he is complete. If we search honestly, we can always find something within ourselves that needs improvement.”
Reb Yaakov Yosef struggled with this and thought, “Could Hashem really send such a message through a simple non-Jewish laborer?” The Baal Shem Tov responded sharply, “You can believe it. You just don’t want to.”
Later that day, Reb Yaakov Yosef was outside when a wagon carrying hay passed by. A few heavy bales fell off, and the driver asked him for help loading them back. Reb Yaakov Yosef apologized and said they were too heavy for him. The driver answered, “You can. You just don’t want to.”
At that moment Reb Yaakov Yosef understood. The same exact words he had heard from the Baal Shem Tov were now coming from a simple wagon driver. He realized that Hashem can send messages in the most unexpected ways, even through people and moments we might overlook.
FIRE, WATER, AND DESERT
On the first passuk of the parshah, the opening of Sefer Bamidbar, the Medrash relates:
וידבר ה׳ אל משה במדבר סיני (במדבר א, א), למה במדבר סיני, מכאן שנו חכמים בשלשה דברים נתנה התורה, באש, ובמים, ובמדבר.
There are many explanations given for these three elements through which the Torah was given: fire, water, and the desert.
I once heard a beautiful pshat from Rav Nachum Binder shlita:
Eish is the battle of persecution and external attack: war, destruction, tragedies like the Holocaust or October 7th. These are the extreme tests, when the world is hostile and aflame against us. It can feel overwhelming, but the more Torah we have, the more fuel we are given to overcome. Torah sustains us; it is what allows us to endure. אין לנו שיור רק התורה הזאת.
Mayim corresponds to the nisayon of kedushah, the pull of desire and distraction that can pull a person away from Hashem. When one falls or succumbs, the yetzer hara whispers, “You don’t belong here; you are impure. You don’t belong learning Hashem’s Torah. Go back to where you belong.”
Midbar, the last and arguably most challenging nisayon, is the nisayon of uncertainty and anxiety: the relentless sfeikos, the question marks of life, parnassah, shalom bayis, children, refuah, shidduchim. Not knowing what’s next, how things will unfold, or when challenges will end. That is the constant midbar.
LEARNING TO HEAR THROUGH THE NOISE
Expounding on the third element, the midbar: How do we truly contend with the nisayon of the midbar? How do we remain upbeat and confident, happy and reassured that all is for the best and that everything will ultimately be good?
How do we stay positive when we ourselves are not so sure? When our minds are exploding with sfeikos? When people are relying on us? When we carry responsibilities beyond ourselves? When we want to accomplish, grow, and thrive, yet sometimes feel so weighed down and overwhelmed?
We do not have the Baal Shem here with us either, but I think perhaps he would say: the answer is not far. Stop looking. Stop running. Stop endlessly seeking.
Just stay still. Eradicate the noise. Take the cues from Above. Sense the divinity within that which appears random and mundane. Listen intentionally to the quiet, not to the noise.
And when we do not want to believe in that, when it sounds too simple, too easy, too ordinary, too plain, the Baal Shem would likely tell you:
“You can believe it. You just don’t want to.”
And as the Shelah Hakadosh writes:
ומי שזוכה למעלת התבודדות ומהרהר בכל יום בתשובה זוכה לקדושה יתירה ויכול לבוא לידי רוח הקודש.
One who merits the level of hisbodedus and reflects daily in teshuvah merits an added measure of holiness and can come to attain Ruach HaKodesh.
How can this be? What is so great about hisbodedus and reflection? How can a person merit the level of Ruach HaKodesh?
The answer is that the more deeply we reflect, the closer we come to quiet and focus. We begin canceling out the outer noises and forces constantly pulling at us. We stop living at the mercy of the chaos around us and begin focusing inward.
And as we move inward, we draw closer to the core. The core of a Yid is the neshamah tehorah, the Divine breath within us, the tzelem Elokim, the image of Hashem embedded in every person.
If we truly attach ourselves to that core, to such purity and such truth, then why are we surprised by the possibility of Ruach HaKodesh?
Even the secular world sensed this truth, as Marcus Aurelius writes in Meditations:
“People try to get away from it all, to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like... by going within.”
THE QUIET PATH BACK TO TORAH
As we approach Shavuos, deep down, each of us wants to connect and become elevated, some more consciously than others. We want to reaccept the Torah and once again proclaim נעשה ונשמע. We want to show Hashem that we truly feel: ומה יפה ירושתנו, how beautiful is our inheritance, how fortunate is our portion.
But often we feel overwhelmed. There is simply too much noise. The journey, our personal Lechteich through the deserts of life, can feel overwhelming. The Satan piles on distractions and obstacles, and before we blink, the opportunity passes us by.
So perhaps, for a moment, allow yourself to indulge in quiet. Think. Reflect. Give thanks. Take in all that’s around you. Allow yourself to become perceptive and vulnerable to the Divine signs and cues, the moments of hashgachah surrounding you, quietly guiding and lifting you. Revealing answers and clarity to those questions and anxieties that seem to be mental boulders.
And when you feel yourself thinking, “Come on. Is this really what I need? Is it really this simple?” counter that question with the Baal Shem’s response:
“You can believe it. You just don’t want to.”
Because, maybe the answer was never farther away. Maybe it was waiting beneath the noise all along. •
